Well, it was about a week ago, I think, that I posted my first post to this blog. I admitted that I could not honestly go cold turkey until the Thanksgiving weekend was over, and I didn't. That's one of the things that it's taken me a very long time to learn in dealing with my unhealthy eating as an addiction. Feeling nuts/crazy/compulsive about food and eating is (at least for me) about 75% "interior" (mental, emotional and spiritual) and only about 25% about the physical act of doing it. And being dishonest is like a dis-ease (state of unrest and upset) that starts way down in my gut or core-self or heart (my favorite metaphor for my inside-self).
So, it was really scary for me to be honest about not being able to start until after the holiday. It was scary to say it in front of others. I am so overly-dependent on what others think of me. I have such a hang-up around acceptance from others. The hang-up goes way back to my conception and birth (neither which were wanted by either of my parents). So that explains it, but explaining it doesn't make it go away.
Opps! It's just a couple of minutes until the Heart t' Heart phone meeting for eating addiction. I've got to go. It's great support. I'll be back soon.
CH
©2010 Colleen C. Harrison
No comments:
Post a Comment