Sunday, June 12, 2011

I Have to Not Just Want to Be Free, I Have to Be WILLING to Be Free

Wanting and willing are two different things.  Wanting is stomping up and down, demanding, insisting.  Wanting is pouting, whining, wallowing in self-will and self-pity.  I can want to be free, but still not be willing to do anything to cooperate with my want.  In other words, I can pray and I can plead and I can beg and express my want and my frustration forever and only make myself more resentful and bitter that God won’t give me what I want.

In contrast, being willing is saying, okay, I’m ready to cooperate.  I’m willing to go along with the truth I have to accept and allow into my life.  I’m willing to humble myself and to seek the guidance and the grace I need from the only Source that is always with me, always only a thought away.  In other words, I have to be willing to turn to God, as I best understand God, as often as I need to during my hours and my days.  Really, even in my hours, if that’s what it takes.  I have to be willing to cry out to Him in my heart as often as the lying, deceiving, self-defeating and self-destructive thoughts start badgering me again.

©2010 Colleen C. Harrison

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